Thursday, January 10, 2013

Birth Story: part 2 (denial)


On Tuesday morning, June 5th, I woke up at 6 am feeling some cramping. I didn’t think much of it, but I figured I would begin timing them, just for fun. I laid in bed and watched a couple episodes of The Office. For an hour, I was having consistent cramping feelings about every 8 minutes. That morning, I had an appointment at the hospital to have the baby monitored (because she was late, I had to go every 3 days after my due date) at 9:15 am. Tim took the morning off to take me. On the way to the hospital, I called my mom (who was a 6.5 hour drive away) to let her know what was going on because I didn’t want her to go to work if I was indeed in labor. She told me she thought this was the real thing, but I was in denial and didn’t want her to leave to come down at that point in case the contractions stopped and it wasn’t really labor. I told her I would call her later and let her know how things were progressing before she made any decisions about calling out of work. When we arrived, I informed the nurse that it was possible that I was in early labor because of my consistent cramps. She looked at the monitor to which I was hooked and said that they weren’t showing up on her screen and that they were probably insignificant and would most likely stop and start many times before labor was really here.  The monitoring went well; her heart rate was fine and my fluid levels were fine. The ultrasound technician was training someone, and didn’t talk to us at all, which I thought was kind of rude, and didn’t explain anything to us, but other than that, everything was good. So we went home.

Tim was planning to go to work after the appointment. We were planning on taking separate cars to the hospital so he could leave directly from there, but since I was having possible contractions, we just drove together, which was a good thing. When we got home, I told him I didn’t want him to go to work for a full day. He said he would go in for just an hour or two to finish up a drawing he had due. We got home around 10:30. I got in bed and the cramping got worse and painful. I pulled up a contraction timer on a website and began timing the length and spacing between the contractions. Tim was ready to leave for work  around 11:30 and said he would probably be back by 1:30. We were both still in denial that I was actually in labor, so I almost let him go. At the last minute, however, I told him I was too scared to be alone to deal with the contractions by myself, especially if it was the real thing, and he called work and decided to stay home (thankfully). If he did go in to work, I would have been relegated to having my downstairs neighbors drive me to the hospital.

Around 12 pm, I was having contractions that were about 4:30 minutes apart for about 50 seconds in duration.  Tim encouraged me to get up and walk, which we learned in our Bradley Method childbirth classes was good for opening the pelvis and quickening labor, and I walked around the house between a contraction, but once the contraction hit, I had to sit on the couch.  I endured the next few contractions in a sitting position on our blue couch in the living room and they were extremely painful. I asked Tim if he thought we should call our doula—Sinai hospital has a volunteer doula program that pairs mothers-to-be with doulas who are looking for certification and need to assist in a certain number of births—and he agreed. I called her up and explained that my contractions were 4 minutes apart, but that I wasn’t sure this was the real thing because they hadn’t showed up on the monitors earlier at my appointment. I then had to hand Tim the phone because I couldn’t talk during the contraction. She told me I should call my doctor and see what they said I should do. 

Because I was in too much pain, Tim called the doctor’s office, but they told him that he had to call the hospital instead and ask for the OB on call. This was strange because I had specifically asked them at my last appointment if I should call their office when labor started or the hospital, and they told me to call them. Tim called the hospital and asked for the OB on call, and she was paged. A few minutes later, we got a call back and I answered it. The doctor asked me why I had called her instead of the doctor’s office, and I told her I tried calling the doctor’s office but they told me to call her at the hospital.  I proceeded to tell her that I was having contractions 4 minutes apart and they were becoming very painful, but that I was in the hospital earlier to be monitored and they didn’t suspect early labor. She didn’t sound very impressed and simply said I should probably come in to at least get checked. After I hung up, we got a call back from the hospital. It was a receptionist saying that the doctor I had just spoken to had told her to call me and tell me to next time call the doctor’s office and not the hospital. At this point, I was frustrated that people cared so much about the etiquette of calling when I was in severe pain. And besides, I did follow the rules. The doctor’s office must have misinformed Tim when they told him to call the hospital .

Anyway, I really didn’t want to go the hospital because I wasn’t sure it was really labor.  I was also in denial because the pain was so intense, that if it wasn’t real labor, I wasn’t sure I could handle the pain of real labor without some sort of pain management intervention like an epidural. We decided to go, though. We called my mom on the way there, and I had to put the phone down during a contraction because it was too painful to talk. I told her we were going to get checked but not to call out of work yet because I wasn’t sure yet. She was sure the baby was coming soon, but I wasn’t ready to acknowledge this fact yet. 

to be continued...

Sunday, January 6, 2013

6 months

Mercy is 6 months (or was 6 months last month, but I'm late in posting). She is so much more grown up now. She is crying a lot less than she used to, which is a nice break for us, and it's very joyful to see her be more happy. She's very social; if we're out doing errands or in a store and people stop us to talk to Mercy, she usually smiles at them and sticks her tongue out in happiness. It makes my life easier because it's always awkward when people try to talk to a baby and the baby just stares at them or starts crying and the mother has to try to make the person not feel so sheepish by saying something like, "oh, she's just tired."

At 6 months, Mercy:

weighs 17 pounds and 11 oz and is 26.25 inches long. However, about two weeks after her doctor's appointment at which she was weighed, Mercy came down with some sort of stomach bug that gave her terrible diarrhea for a whole week and she ended up losing a whole pound of her weight. Good thing she has extra to spare, but it was so sad hearing that she had lost that much weight.

had her first ear infection. At the same time as her diarrhea episode, Mercy caught some sort of a cold and was very stuffy for a week The cold then led to a ear infection. I had no idea she had an ear infection because she wasn't pulling on her ears or anything. She was just shrieking at night and hated being laid down. I just figured it was being uncomfortable from the diarrhea and the cold (I had called the doctor about her diarrhea and she she said it didn't sound like Mercy was dehydrated, so she would probably get better within a few days). After a few days of Mercy barely sleeping at night and just screaming, I took her to the doctor, and alas, she had an ear infection. After a couple days of antibiotics, Mercy was back to her happy self, thankfully.  But she was so miserable for that week and a half before Christmas.

still loves to eat. She nurses about every three hours during the day. She also eats oatmeal and some applesauce or some pureed vegetables for dinner. At the end of her 6th month, we increased her solid food intake to twice a day. Her favorite food is applesauce. She also likes green beans, squash, peaches, pears, and spinach. She hates sweet potatoes and peas (like her mama). When she eats her solid foods, she is so impatient in waiting for her next bite. She often breathes really heavily in anticipation. Here she is with a spinach mustache:



loves to play with tags, any type. If you give her a stuffed animal or piece of clothing, she will inevitably find the tag and focus on that, running the tag through her hands and, of course, sucking on it. She finds them so fascinating.

has discovered a love for helium balloons. My mom bought her one that said, "Get well soon" when she was sick, and as soon as she saw it, her face lit up. She loves holding the ribbon and pulling it down to get the balloon to move. And if you give her the balloon to hold by the end part (not the string), she'll shake it vigorously and bop herself in the head with it. If she is shaking the balloon, she'll always close her eyes before she starts because she knows she's going to hit herself.

loves to be in her exersaucer. She loves to bounce in it and play with all the toys.



sits without support. I think her favorite position, though, is standing. She likes to pretend she's a big girl. She can stand by herself if she's holding onto the couch.

has become more independent in playtime. She will sit contentedly playing with some toys in front of her for a good chunk of time at this point, which is nice because trying to entertain a baby for her whole awake time is really challenging! She still gets bored relatively easy, so I'm constantly trying to think of fun things to do with her, but she is a bit better.

has chapped skin under her mouth because she is constantly sticking her tongue out. Her tongue is out so often that I wonder if her jaw hurts from being open so frequently.



loves when Tim comes home from work. As soon as she sees him, she puts on a huge grin and her eyes shine. She rarely does this for me because I'm with her 24/7, but once in a while, she will smile like this for me when she wakes up in the morning and I can really tell that she loves me from the way her eyes sparkle. It's a wonderful feeling.

laughs a lot. Things that her make her laugh are peekaboo, kissing her belly, slapping her five or her feet, and playing trampoline on our couch cushion.

enjoys looking at herself in the mirror. As soon as you put a mirror in front of her, her eyes get huge and her smile is so big. She just loves herself!



generally doesn't like to be put in her car seat (she arches her back and tries to get out). She also loathes getting dressed for the most part.

seems to be pretty stubborn. If you take something from her, she flips out. She also becomes very frustrated when she can't manipulate something the way she wants to. For example, we can't really read her books because she just tries to grab the book and put it in her mouth, and if she can't eat the book, she starts screaming. So we can't read to her, which is kind of sad. Hopefully she'll enjoy stories when she's older, but I sometimes I wish she would be a bit more laid back about these types of things.

still loves to be outside and seems to love the cold air. As soon as we go outside in the cold, she opens her mouth wide and sticks her tongue out, as if she's trying to catch the breeze with it.

has been making some more complex vocalizations. She says "bawawawawa" and "babababa." She also loves to open her mouth as wide as she can, put her eyebrows up like she's surprised and yell "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh." It's a happy sound, not the "ahh" people yell when scared or something. This is how she looks when she says it:



Here are some other photos of sweet Mercy: