Thursday, January 10, 2013

Birth Story: part 2 (denial)


On Tuesday morning, June 5th, I woke up at 6 am feeling some cramping. I didn’t think much of it, but I figured I would begin timing them, just for fun. I laid in bed and watched a couple episodes of The Office. For an hour, I was having consistent cramping feelings about every 8 minutes. That morning, I had an appointment at the hospital to have the baby monitored (because she was late, I had to go every 3 days after my due date) at 9:15 am. Tim took the morning off to take me. On the way to the hospital, I called my mom (who was a 6.5 hour drive away) to let her know what was going on because I didn’t want her to go to work if I was indeed in labor. She told me she thought this was the real thing, but I was in denial and didn’t want her to leave to come down at that point in case the contractions stopped and it wasn’t really labor. I told her I would call her later and let her know how things were progressing before she made any decisions about calling out of work. When we arrived, I informed the nurse that it was possible that I was in early labor because of my consistent cramps. She looked at the monitor to which I was hooked and said that they weren’t showing up on her screen and that they were probably insignificant and would most likely stop and start many times before labor was really here.  The monitoring went well; her heart rate was fine and my fluid levels were fine. The ultrasound technician was training someone, and didn’t talk to us at all, which I thought was kind of rude, and didn’t explain anything to us, but other than that, everything was good. So we went home.

Tim was planning to go to work after the appointment. We were planning on taking separate cars to the hospital so he could leave directly from there, but since I was having possible contractions, we just drove together, which was a good thing. When we got home, I told him I didn’t want him to go to work for a full day. He said he would go in for just an hour or two to finish up a drawing he had due. We got home around 10:30. I got in bed and the cramping got worse and painful. I pulled up a contraction timer on a website and began timing the length and spacing between the contractions. Tim was ready to leave for work  around 11:30 and said he would probably be back by 1:30. We were both still in denial that I was actually in labor, so I almost let him go. At the last minute, however, I told him I was too scared to be alone to deal with the contractions by myself, especially if it was the real thing, and he called work and decided to stay home (thankfully). If he did go in to work, I would have been relegated to having my downstairs neighbors drive me to the hospital.

Around 12 pm, I was having contractions that were about 4:30 minutes apart for about 50 seconds in duration.  Tim encouraged me to get up and walk, which we learned in our Bradley Method childbirth classes was good for opening the pelvis and quickening labor, and I walked around the house between a contraction, but once the contraction hit, I had to sit on the couch.  I endured the next few contractions in a sitting position on our blue couch in the living room and they were extremely painful. I asked Tim if he thought we should call our doula—Sinai hospital has a volunteer doula program that pairs mothers-to-be with doulas who are looking for certification and need to assist in a certain number of births—and he agreed. I called her up and explained that my contractions were 4 minutes apart, but that I wasn’t sure this was the real thing because they hadn’t showed up on the monitors earlier at my appointment. I then had to hand Tim the phone because I couldn’t talk during the contraction. She told me I should call my doctor and see what they said I should do. 

Because I was in too much pain, Tim called the doctor’s office, but they told him that he had to call the hospital instead and ask for the OB on call. This was strange because I had specifically asked them at my last appointment if I should call their office when labor started or the hospital, and they told me to call them. Tim called the hospital and asked for the OB on call, and she was paged. A few minutes later, we got a call back and I answered it. The doctor asked me why I had called her instead of the doctor’s office, and I told her I tried calling the doctor’s office but they told me to call her at the hospital.  I proceeded to tell her that I was having contractions 4 minutes apart and they were becoming very painful, but that I was in the hospital earlier to be monitored and they didn’t suspect early labor. She didn’t sound very impressed and simply said I should probably come in to at least get checked. After I hung up, we got a call back from the hospital. It was a receptionist saying that the doctor I had just spoken to had told her to call me and tell me to next time call the doctor’s office and not the hospital. At this point, I was frustrated that people cared so much about the etiquette of calling when I was in severe pain. And besides, I did follow the rules. The doctor’s office must have misinformed Tim when they told him to call the hospital .

Anyway, I really didn’t want to go the hospital because I wasn’t sure it was really labor.  I was also in denial because the pain was so intense, that if it wasn’t real labor, I wasn’t sure I could handle the pain of real labor without some sort of pain management intervention like an epidural. We decided to go, though. We called my mom on the way there, and I had to put the phone down during a contraction because it was too painful to talk. I told her we were going to get checked but not to call out of work yet because I wasn’t sure yet. She was sure the baby was coming soon, but I wasn’t ready to acknowledge this fact yet. 

to be continued...

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